saint_ori (saint_ori) wrote,

 i decided i wouldn't post in my journal unless i have something of real import to say. i got that now. no i don't. i just have shit to say.

it's ridiculous that my best friends have been pissed at me for about a month. for this month, they didn't say a word to me, they rudely ignored me and i barely found out that it was something i never even did. but they never came to me about the problem. seriously, if somebody is pissed, it's so much worse to just let it simmer on the side.

i'm weird. i can't help but be weird. trust me, i've tried. i've tried for 22 damn years to be normal. it ain't in the stars for me, so why does my family push normalcy on me? it's a question i've tried to find the answer to and seriously, it's bout time to give up on that and move on with my life.

i guess i do have something of real import to say. i just want to be happy. i've been sour and down for over 16 years, it's done horrors to my emotional, physical, and physiological life. 

thing is, for me happiness isn't drinking. it's not getting insanely trashed and laughing bout it the next day. in fact, my hangovers are pretty lethal. not joking about that, i can't drink alcohol anymore or some shit'll happen to my pancreas and i may get pancreatitis or diabetes. aimee convinced me to drink for cinco de mayo, the day afterwards i actually felt like my bones were sore, not my muscles. it freaked me the hell out, so i'm not going to drink from now on. Weed is and forever will be my vice.

i got threee things to pursue, and i shall do them to the best of my intent. life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Lastly, i'm going to take courses in learning how to professionally install solar panels for industry jobs. thought it'd be best to just have a steady income for the rest of mah twenties. love you guys lots!
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