saint_ori (saint_ori) wrote,

seven fucking hells

It felt like the discussion was as if we had lost the fight for his soul. But how responsible were we for him when he was very adamant about being responsible for himself? I tried writing a letter but I couldn’t because I couldn’t agree with this shit. I didn’t even want to write it for him but for his mother, his father, his sister, his brother, whom he failed. But everything I wrote seemed to be an empty platitude. The last time we had dinner, I asked him how he thinks he could grasp happiness, what would it take, and he gave me this shrewd look like as if to say “Not you too, just let me be.” well what the fuck man. honestly, what the fucking fuck. everybody seems fucking heartbroken and so many people are talking about a broken justice system but I do see justice being served.

I can’t abide to rally to a cause that i’m vehemently against. and I can’t tell them that because I loved them as much as I loved him, for he was my brother and he fucking failed me too. But this isn’t unconditional love, it has it’s rules and you broke something sacred.
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